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February 15, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 12:07 am

It’s no secret that I don’t like Valentines Day. It’s cheesy, commercial and just a pain in the face.

The other part I hate about it is, people’s status’ on, Bebo, Facebook and the like! “Eww Valentines Day :( “, “I’ve no one and its Valentines day” Blah dee fucking blah! I have one thing to say to the lonely, single gobshites of the world who post stuff like that, fuck off! I mean seriously. Everyone knows your single, no one cares about this fact and most people think you’re a complete tool for posting something like that in the first place.

Now, rather than wasting your already pathetic life bemoaning the fact your lonely and all that, get up off your arse and go to a bar, find a prostitute, whatever, I really don’t care!

The other thing that pisses me the fuck off about Valentine’s Day is, people just don’t realise its only one poxy day! Yes everything is painted red/pink, people are disgustingly all over each other and you can’t go for food without seeing people going all lovey dovey across the table, but it’s one day! Stop making such a big deal over it. It’s not like you weren’t expecting it in all fairness. And sure it may be Hallmarks way of pointing out the blatantly obvious and shoving it in your face, but every other day of the year there’s something to remind you about how single you are. Why does one day make such a big impact on it?

I’m seriously starting to think that people are starting to expect far too much from others on this fabulous day. They see a movie or listen to a song and just decide, “Right, thats how I want my life/Valentines Day to be and no one is going to stop that from happening”.

Its crazy and extremely good advertising, if you ask me.

And if theres anything worse than the single people, its the ones who are with people! I honestly don’t know which is worse. “I love you so much *insert name here*, you’re my world, I’m never going to hurt you, I know I’m a fuck up and don’t deserve you” Blah dee fucking blah!

It’s vomit inducing. Stop parading thefact that you do or don’t have some one to spend one day with, around and get the fuck over it

 

How Do You Let Yourself Get THAT Fat?! February 4, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 1:54 pm

 

In other blogs, I think I’ve briefly mentioned stuff about fat people… And in todays wonderful piece I’m going to harp on about morbidly obese, ridiculously overweight people.

I know it sounds insanely harsh but to be honest I couldn’t care less if I tried. So why I have decided to dedicate this blog space to fat people? Well to be honest if anyone manages to eat enough in one day, to feed a small African village for a week, they deserve at least one completely insane blog, that very few people actually read, dedicated to them. And it’s not a good dedication..

So basically, I have serious issues with the fact that we have people eating themselves into disability and then claiming money off the government to fund their ridiculous life styles. Naturally the same can be said for drug addicts but thats a completely different story. That I’ll eventually get around to writing..

The conclusion I came to is, either we sell these people to a circus! Completely out there, I know, but logically it’d work. Maybe not practically but logically. What’s going to happen is, you reach a certain weight, you get sent to a circus to be part of that circus. And not just any circus, the Russian circus! By the time they become trapeze artist or whatever, starvation set in and you develop random autoimmune diseases, the weight will be flying off you!

Fuck the idea of diet and exercise, we all know thats not fun and fat people have no motivation, what so ever. And doesn’t work. I’ve tried at one stage or another. However, if we said them to a Russian circus, where they have so communist screaming at them in Russian to get up off their fat arse and do some circus acts, the possibility of being crushed by an elephant and made a public display of, they’ll be more encouraged to lose the weight and get back to their loved ones. Sure there’ll be less of them to love, but they’ll be fit as a Russian gymnast!

Yes, I have completely over thought this plot, yes it’ll never EVER happen(unless I get into some high form of government), but a girl can dream. Big dreams ;) Haha I was quite proud of that little joke ;)

Anyway, have fun.

 

Are We Completely Incapable Of Thinking For Ourselves? February 3, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 12:42 am

Between hopping on the bandwagon of writing shitty books about vampires, that aren’t even proper blood sucking vampires, it would seem scriptwriter and writers in general, are completely unable to come up with fresh and gripping ideas.

So far this year there’s been, at least 6 movies about vampires released. Let’s just be reminded that it’s the first week of February. It’s  not a good sign of things to come. In all honesty, I thought that the movie watching and making folk were over the vampire that aren’t really vampire thing. Apparently not. Unfortunately, I’ve seen some of these movies and they all had more or less the same story lines. Vampire sees/smells blood(or whatever) and goes off and kills the person for food or why ever vampires do it.. Anyway, it’s all very repetitive and starting to get on my nerves. Basically what I’ve decided is that, I’m NEVER going to see a movie that has anything to do with a vampire again. Single handedly the biggest waste of money…

The other band wagon writers seem to be hopping on is that of song and dance. Let’s take the highly acclaimed “Glee”. What in the name of all things holy is it even about? Apparently cheer leaders trying to ruin a poxy choir! I mean seriously, what the fuck are screenwriters smoking!?! And more importantly, where can I get some?

It’s playing on the thick and un-opinionated people of society! All these people tend to say is, “Oh I love that show, it’s great, he’s hot etc…”

What happened to great script writers who could come up with spectacular ideas, that were original, had an effect and that kept you wanting more and unable to wait for the sequel?

To be perfectly honest, I think they’re just getting lazy! There I said it! Screen writers are getting lazy! However, there are a select few who are still keeping it lively, un-PC and most importantly, funny. Queue the writers of South Park and the Simpsons. It’s great. Really it is. The Simpsons has graced the airwaves with its presence for a good 20 years now. No story lines has been repeated, no joke over used and everyone loves it!

The same can more or less be said of South Park. So ridiculously warped its insane, so full of innuendo it’s coming out of her endo and probably had so many complaints it’d put Joe Duffy’s listeners to shame.

What we need is a writing Renaissance. People to get off the fence and stop being so worried about what people think and how they’ll react and just write something flat-out amazing!

 

Stress! January 26, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 5:57 pm

Right, I very rarely actually say I’m stressed. Pissed off, agravated and agitated maybe but never stressed..

That was until I went into 3rd year in the fail of an education system in Ireland. And why am I stressed? I’ve sooo much poxy work to do!

Today I realised, I’ve a lot of rojects to do! They all ahve to be ridiculously long, repetitive and just pointless in the long run. And the worst part is, we’ve only got around 2 or 3 months to do them.

The only good thing about some of them is that you do nothing and get a lot of points.

For your CSPE exam, if you do the report properly you get 60%! And thats before you’ve even set foot in the exam centre! Science, you get 15% just for handing up a hardback copy. Home Ec, well if you do a project, write a 40 page report and hand it up, another 15%.

I know it sounds like alot, but there’s a ridiculous amount of work involved! All of the projects have to be over 25 pages :(

It’s not that I’m afraid of hard work, so too speak, more so, I just don’t have the time or paitence to work on things like that.

Between school, homework, study and then trying to find time to chill and do things that have absolutely nothing to do with school, I barely have time to breathe! I suppose you could say that I need to come up with some form of time management skills, but the thing is, that in itself takes time! That I don’t have.

I actually just don’t see the point in the Junior Cert. It’s just unnecesarry stress on the 15/16 year olds of Ireland. It’s not worth anything, unless you plan on leaving school after third year to go work in Tesco. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with Tesco or working there, but you know what I mean… I hope..

The main reason why I haven’t been writing half as much as I’d like to, is because I’ve to poxy study :( And because it’s coming up to 6, and I’ve a fuck load of homework and study to do, I’m going to love you and leave you ;)

Have fun :)

 

School, Stress And Something To Smile About :) January 21, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 12:00 am

Today I realised something, not only are some people complete assholes, but I also would love to be a teacher! :)

Don’t ask why, because I really couldn’t tell you. What I could tell you though, is that I think I’d be good at it and thats the main thing.

I came to this conclusion earlier this evening. What happened was, I ended up going back to school earlier on to help with an open evening. I was originally supposed to be promoting debating and make it look a lot cooler than it actually is, but ended up giving a tour of the school to some people. “And this is the woodwork room, and I know nothing about this subject….” Tour guide is definitely one of the many career paths I will not be walking down. :P Despite the fact I did actually enjoy waffling on about how wonderful our school is for an hour. Relatively small school, didn’t think it would take that long.

But anyway back to why I want to be a teacher… After possibly the worst tour ever given, I got roped into rounding up a fair amount of 11 year olds and then sorting them into rooms based on what school they’re attending… Absolute disaster! They all just looked so scared and lost, and then a complete nut job like me comes over and starts telling them where to go :S Could’ve been worse though..

Then came the job of trying to control a room of over 30 kids… Good god! How primary school teachers mange to do it day in day out, and without swearing, is beyond me! Yet for some reason I really want to be one of those people! Yay for cheesy moments :) Evidently, counting backwards from 3 and threatening to either draw something on a kids face and/or getting a “scary teacher”, actually works! It could just have been the small fact that I can shout quite loud, or the scary teacher really did sound a lot scarier than she is. Either, or. The classic game of Hangman (“I’ll hang your man!”) works really well too.

Another thing I realised was that I absolutely suck at coming up with random, clean trivia questions 11 tear olds would know the answer too… “Who won this years X Factor, whats Spongebob’s best friends name and whats our Taoiseach’s name?” Were the best I could come up with… :P

The next weapon of entertainment I had up my sleeve was, does anyone have any questions for me about school..? At least 8 hands went up… “Are you allowed phones. can I get a drink and where’s the sewing room?” Were the ones I got, but the best had to be, can boys wear skirts?! You go kid, you go!

So, maybe I’ll be a journalist, or a radio presenter, but I would love to be a teacher :)

Oh and I’m slightly stressed this week because, I’m being bombarded with having to make decisions that won’t serve any really purpose to me for at least another 2 years… On top of that I’m trying to convince my dad that me doing transition year is a really good idea.. Not working ot too well… And I’ve got mock exams in 4 weeks and I’m broke (cash donations greatly accepted :) )

Have a good one ;)

 

It’s All A Bit Too P.C For Me To Be Honest… January 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 10:47 pm

Here’s the thing, I’ve found another group of people who annoy the hell out of me. The Political Correctness Police. What a load of bollocks!

These people are the reason people like me, (a.k.a people with a sense of humour) get a bad name and into trouble. They’re the sort of people who tend to hang around with the new age parents. Think their opinion is the only opinion and therefore right and try shove it down your throat. I have one thing to say to these people, would you ever go and just fuck off?  Sorry, I’ll ask nicely and be PC about it, if not they may not comply… Would you pretty please just go and jump off a bridge? :)

No one cares about what you’ve got to say about the starving kids in Africa and how we should all be ashamed of our pathetic selves for having an opinion. Shame on us.

These absolute gobshites are the reason the blasphemy law was introduced in the first place.

The other thing I hate, and I mean HATE about these people, is how they’re collectively ruining comedy for everyone. I mean are they so hell-bent on not laughing at anything that may, or may not ruffle some ones feathers?

If the sketch on Fawlty Towers about the Germans, were to be repeated or made up now, the PC Police would have a heart attack! Excellent. And a more recent example is the Tommy Tiernan/Jewish people thing. Loads of people laughed, more people had a mental breakdown about how inappropriate it was.

Why these people even leave their eco-friendly houses in the morning is a mystery to me. If their sole purpose in life is to piss people like me off and make others around them feel inferior and very annoyed, congrats, you’re succeeding.

I mean you can’t even say Boo! to a child anymore without them running off to their parents and screaming bloody blue murder! Ridiculous when you think about it.

If there’s one thing you should take away from this amazing blog, it’s that you can’t police the world, so don’t bother trying. Unless you want to look like a total douche ;)

Have a nice day :)

 

Day Time TV Killed My Brain! January 15, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 11:54 am

This week I was sick. As in legitimately, throwing up, on the couch for 2 days, sick. Never eating spaghetti Bolognese my dad makes EVER again. Food poisoning much?

Being diabetic and sick just don’t mix. You don’t feel like eating so you take less insulin. That can go one of two ways for you. Either you go low or you get ketones. I get ketones. Ketones are an absolute bitch.

I hate being sick. It’s boring, you can’t eat and there’s other stuff I just don’t want to go into about being sick. The worst part about it is throwing up in the toilet. What an experience. Peoples asses and what not, have been on it, possibly for long periods of time, and then you go and put your face near it to vomit. Pleasant. I’ve decided to up chuck on the floor in future. It’s slightly more hygienic and a bit less effort to be honest.

The other horrible part about being sick is, day time TV! It’s mind numbing, dull, repetitive and just plain ridiculous! There’s talk shows that go and verbally attack fat people for being fat. Fair enough if the person has managed to eat themselves into weighing 25 stone and into disability, but it’s not really alright if the person has some random thyroid problem. I can feel myself getting a little stupider every minute that goes by watching it.

On a few brighter notes:

  • My internet is working again. I’m a lot happier about this as I probably should be. Says a lot about how easily amused I am.
  • I’m going to a mace debating competition tomorrow. Should be fun and there’s free food. If anyone knows how to get to St Conleths College, drop me a line ;)
  • Comedy is AMAZING! Look up Fawlty Towers and a Bit Of Fry And Laurie. You will not be in the slightest disappointed
  • The Divine Comedy are my favourite band of the week.
  • I thought it would be a great idea to have a toasted tuna sandwich at half 1 this morning. It was.
  • I’m going to have some breakfast because I can eat properly again and I’ve a lot of catching up to do on the eating thing ;)
  • I’ve decided to take up running/fast walking/slow walking that’ll eventually turn into sitting on the couch… again
  • Later bitches
 

Happy Belated New Year! January 7, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 2:41 pm

This is going to be one of those ridiculous blogs that just goes on forever and makes me look like a bit of a sap…What’s new there?

I realise I probably should have posted this about a week ago, when it was relevant and made sense and everyone else was doing it, but my internet was broke and when it was fixed I wasn’t really in the mood… And yes, that is of course, what she said. So, here’s the delayed resolutions and what not for 2010. Which I have decided to call ten past 8 :)

Christmas: Was great! I got Rock Band(which I broke within 10 minutes, because X Box is a fail), a lava lamp and space hopper because I’m so retro like that and a Snuggie off Megan. Which I have fallen over more times than is worth mentioning. Very productive over all. Oh and marathons of House, is not a good idea.

As usual at Christmas, I ate and drank far too much and I’m paying for it now. In the form of bigger hips, ass, stomach and thighs. Lovely. I look a picture naked ;) Painted by a blind 3-year-old that is. Moving swiftly forward..

I went to a party on the 29th. It was fun I guess. Didn’t say long though. I didn’t really know anyone there and wasn’t really in the mood for mingling.

New Years Eve: What a load of shite that was! I hate New Years Eve. Mainly because there’s never anything decent on around where I live. And if there is, I don’t get told about it. I ended up staying in, watching Jools Holland. I’ve watched the New Years eve special of that for the past 3 or 4 years.

It snowed! It started at about 11:45pm which was quite cool because by 12 the place was covered in snow! But it hasn’t stopped snowing and now I’m just getting fed up of it.

Four hours into the New Year, I managed to fuck up someone elses new year. At least I think I did. The moral of the story here is, don’t text in metaphor at four in the morning. You will get confused and it won’t end well. And you’ll feel like a bitch for a few days. But you shouldn’t feel like that because afterall, you were only being truthful.

I bought myself a new laptop. Single handedly the most stressful purchase of my life. Started off by going to a post office and asking them to cash a warrant for €460, in an inner city Dublin suburb is not an experience I want to relive. Having said that, I did feel quite… Powerful? walking out with the money. No idea why. Money is power or something to that effect. Anyway, I went to every shop that sells laptops. It was like walking into  a nerd cave run by Asians. Then when I finally decided on a laptop, the sales guy kept asking me, if I wanted all these random things. I had no idea what the hell he was trying to sell me! He just kept saying random letters and big words at me. Very confusing. Because I didn’t have a clue what he was trying to sell me, I just kept saying no. So, then he starts trying to sell me insurance. I know I’m accident prone but nearly 300 a year didn’t really appeal to me, so I told him that if I had wanted insurance or any of the other add ons I would have asked for them, but seeing as I didn’t I obviously didn’t want them.

I haven’t been sleeping properly at all for the past 2 weeks. Going asleep at around half 4 or 5 everyday and not walking up til about 2. It’s not half as great as it sounds.

I cleaned out my e-mail inbox for the first time in about year. That was fun. I’ve more e mails from Bebo, Facebook and other random things than from real people. But then, I started reading old e mails from friends and stuff. Good god people are messed up. And one or two of them are just VERY overdramatic and moany! Still, it was a nice thought at the time.

New Years Resolutions: I don’t make proper resolutions, because I just forget or give up on them after about a week. I just have a list of things to do, goals/aspirations if you want to knit pick. It’s a;; the usual stuff people come up with so I’m not even going to bother going into detail on them.

Morbidly obese people: I have absolutely no sympathy for these people. They’ve somehow manages to eat themselves into disability and get free money off the government for being fat! What a way to endorse healthy eating. :P And the ones who have a sob story behind why they’re the way they are, are the most ridiculous people on the face of the planet. “Something random and bad happened to me and I just couldn’t stop eating, and then I wouldn’t leave the house and i was just a vicious cycle!” Grrrr!

I’ve decided that I’m not going to write blogs on proper stuff anymore because I realise I suck at it. So I’m just going to write about completely random things from now on :) And I’m going to use more smileys. :P  

Anyhow, I’m done. Going to have a shower and then clean my room, because thats how I roll. ;)

 

Blasphemy Law? Good Luck With That January 6, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 4:04 am

This is possibly going to be a long blog, so get tea and get comfortable ;)

Just when you think a government couldn’t get any worse, the Irish government does. The thing is, as of 1st of January 2010, blasphemy became illegal in Ireland. What a load of politically correct bullshit!

 Basically, if anyone, and I quote:”Publishes or utters matter that is grossly abusive or insulting to any religion thereby intentionally causing outrage among a substantial number of adherents of that religion, with some defences permitted” is well and truly boned, in the from of a fine of €25,000. Does any one else thinks this reeks of revenue generation?

First off, who ever came up with the wording for that, should be shot. In the head. Repeatedly. And second off, what the hell(can I still say that?), would be considered a defence for that sort of thing? More blasphemy to counter act the other piece uttered? Or will it end, as many things do, in violence?

 One of the main problems I have with this new piss take of a law is, how little thought went into it and how loosely defined blasphemy is in it. On top of that, the idea of what a religion is, is also going to have to be defined, The publics not going to like that one bit. In more ways than one, this “law” is messing with the right of free speech! Its shoving the belief of power and elitism down the throat of everyone. It’s the government’s(or whats left of it) way of turning round and saying, “Shhhh! You’re going to piss someone off by voicing an opinion you have on an idea!” Its inciting hatred, aggression and is really just causing a lot more trouble than it’s really worth in the long run. If religion is incompatible with free speech, then clearly free speech is not the problem!

 Thomas Jefferson:
“…our civil rights have no dependence on our religious opinions, any more than our opinions in physics or geometry; that therefore the proscribing any citizen as unworthy the public confidence by laying upon him an incapacity of being called to offices of trust and emolument, unless he profess or renounce this or that religious opinion, is depriving him injuriously of those privileges and advantages to which in common with his fellow-citizens he has a natural right. …”

Another thing is, how do they plan to police such a farce(never thought I’d get to use that word in a sentence) as this?! The thing that needs to be realised here is that you can not police the world! No matter how much you may want to, its not possible! Main reason why is the internet! Its as good as the printing press was during the Renaissance, for spreading ideas now.

“How has the church in every age, when in authority, defended itself? Always by a statute against blasphemy, against argument, against free speech. And there never was such a statute that did not stain the book that it was in and that did not certify to the savagery of the men who passed it.”  – Robert G. Ingersoll

Now, honestly, having read that quote, living in Ireland, can you support such an outdated law? It couldn’t be more true and to the point if it tried! It’s all very convenient for this law to be passed so soon after the Murphy report being published. This is just giving the Catholic Church more power over an already god fearing country.

 Everyone knows how to be offensive, and now just for the fun of it, everyone will be offensive.If you go on any message board about this, everyone is coming up with the most ridiculous insults,just to get a reaction out of a government. The public is going to turn round and say stuff like, “Fuck your god, fuck your church, fuck your childish beliefs, fuck your paedophile, misogynistic, homophobic, warmongering prophet and priests, fuck your re-incarnation bollocks, and fuck your stupid and out dated law!” Maybe not all in the one sentence, on the same day, but it will be said.

Atheist Ireland launched their campaign to have this(I’ve decided not to call it a law anymore because it’s not really one) repealed. And with good reason. In a modern and advanced(if you want to call it that) society, such as Ireland, there really is no need, whatsoever, for such a medieval way of doing things. They also published 25 quotes of what they consider to be blasphemous. Guess who’s putting those at the end of the blog?!

However, the one good thing to come of this situation, is the very strong sense of unity! People from all over the world are posting comments on message boards(where I’m getting a lot of my quotes and ideas from), the atheists are rightly pissed off and have decided safety in numbers works, facebookers have started petitions. Now, if this doesn’t show Mr Ahern(who actually has his own religion and on top of that is guilty of blasphemy)that there is clearly no need for this, I don’t know what will.

The whole reason this is being brought in, is, well… Actually there is no decent reason. It was originally thought up in the 1930/40′s and naturally only protected the Catholics(Shocker). Now, the question of what in the name of god(see what I did there? ;) ) inspired Dermot Ahern, to read the constitution, and of all things to decide to improve on, choose blasphemy?!?!

This really is political correctness gone mad! “Oh protect the beliefs of others, because we might upset them if we question it!” 

We should be allowed to defend our beliefs; and that means that others must be allowed to attack them. For it is in defending our beliefs that we hone and define them!

So, go sign petitions against this because it’s really the biggest load of cock to be thought up, to be funny, and it’s almost 4a.m so I’m going asleep, but before I do, heres the blasphemous quotes! Enjoy!

Published by Atheist Ireland on 1 January 2010

1. Jesus Christ, when asked if he was the son of God, in Matthew 26:64: “Thou hast said: nevertheless I say unto you, Hereafter shall ye see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven.” According to the Christian Bible, the Jewish chief priests and elders and council deemed this statement by Jesus to be blasphemous, and they sentenced Jesus to death for saying it.

2. Jesus Christ, talking to Jews about their God, in John 8:44: “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him.” This is one of several chapters in the Christian Bible that can give a scriptural foundation to Christian anti-Semitism. The first part of John 8, the story of “whoever is without sin cast the first stone”, was not in the original version, but was added centuries later. The original John 8 is a debate between Jesus and some Jews. In brief, Jesus calls the Jews who disbelieve him sons of the Devil, the Jews try to stone him, and Jesus runs away and hides.

3. Muhammad, quoted in Hadith of Bukhari, Vol 1 Book 8 Hadith 427: “May Allah curse the Jews and Christians for they built the places of worship at the graves of their prophets.” This quote is attributed to Muhammad on his death-bed as a warning to Muslims not to copy this practice of the Jews and Christians. It is one of several passages in the Koran and in Hadith that can give a scriptural foundation to Islamic anti-Semitism, including the assertion in Sura 5:60 that Allah cursed Jews and turned some of them into apes and swine.

4. Mark Twain, describing the Christian Bible in Letters from the Earth, 1909: “Also it has another name – The Word of God. For the Christian thinks every word of it was dictated by God. It is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies… But you notice that when the Lord God of Heaven and Earth, adored Father of Man, goes to war, there is no limit. He is totally without mercy — he, who is called the Fountain of Mercy. He slays, slays, slays! All the men, all the beasts, all the boys, all the babies; also all the women and all the girls, except those that have not been deflowered. He makes no distinction between innocent and guilty… What the insane Father required was blood and misery; he was indifferent as to who furnished it.” Twain’s book was published posthumously in 1939. His daughter, Clara Clemens, at first objected to it being published, but later changed her mind in 1960 when she believed that public opinion had grown more tolerant of the expression of such ideas. That was half a century before Fianna Fail and the Green Party imposed a new blasphemy law on the people of Ireland.

5. Tom Lehrer, The Vatican Rag, 1963: “Get in line in that processional, step into that small confessional. There, the guy who’s got religion’ll tell you if your sin’s original. If it is, try playing it safer, drink the wine and chew the wafer. Two, four, six, eight, time to transubstantiate!”

6. Randy Newman, God’s Song, 1972: “And the Lord said: I burn down your cities – how blind you must be. I take from you your children, and you say how blessed are we. You all must be crazy to put your faith in me. That’s why I love mankind.”

7. James Kirkup, The Love That Dares to Speak its Name, 1976: “While they prepared the tomb I kept guard over him. His mother and the Magdalen had gone to fetch clean linen to shroud his nakedness. I was alone with him… I laid my lips around the tip of that great cock, the instrument of our salvation, our eternal joy. The shaft, still throbbed, anointed with death’s final ejaculation.” This extract is from a poem that led to the last successful blasphemy prosecution in Britain, when Denis Lemon was given a suspended prison sentence after he published it in the now-defunct magazine Gay News. In 2002, a public reading of the poem, on the steps of St. Martin-in-the-Fields church in Trafalgar Square, failed to lead to any prosecution. In 2008, the British Parliament abolished the common law offences of blasphemy and blasphemous libel.

8. Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath, in Monty Python’s Life of Brian, 1979: “Look, I had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah.”

9. Rev Ian Paisley MEP to the Pope in the European Parliament, 1988: “I denounce you as the Antichrist.” Paisley’s website describes the Antichrist as being “a liar, the true son of the father of lies, the original liar from the beginning… he will imitate Christ, a diabolical imitation, Satan transformed into an angel of light, which will deceive the world.”

10. Conor Cruise O’Brien, 1989: “In the last century the Arab thinker Jamal al-Afghani wrote: ‘Every Muslim is sick and his only remedy is in the Koran.’ Unfortunately the sickness gets worse the more the remedy is taken.”

11. Frank Zappa, 1989: “If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have people love you, fine – but to hang all this desperate sociology on the idea of The Cloud-Guy who has The Big Book, who knows if you’ve been bad or good – and cares about any of it – to hang it all on that, folks, is the chimpanzee part of the brain working.”

12. Salman Rushdie, 1990: “The idea of the sacred is quite simply one of the most conservative notions in any culture, because it seeks to turn other ideas – uncertainty, progress, change – into crimes.” In 1989, Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran issued a fatwa ordering Muslims to kill Rushdie because of blasphemous passages in Rushdie’s novel The Satanic Verses.

13. Bjork, 1995: “I do not believe in religion, but if I had to choose one it would be Buddhism. It seems more livable, closer to men… I’ve been reading about reincarnation, and the Buddhists say we come back as animals and they refer to them as lesser beings. Well, animals aren’t lesser beings, they’re just like us. So I say fuck the Buddhists.”

14. Amanda Donohoe on her role in the Ken Russell movie Lair of the White Worm, 1995: “Spitting on Christ was a great deal of fun. I can’t embrace a male god who has persecuted female sexuality throughout the ages, and that persecution still goes on today all over the world.”

15. George Carlin, 1999: “Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!”

16. Paul Woodfull as Ding Dong Denny O’Reilly, The Ballad of Jaysus Christ, 2000: “He said me ma’s a virgin and sure no one disagreed, Cause they knew a lad who walks on water’s handy with his feet… Jaysus oh Jaysus, as cool as bleedin’ ice, With all the scrubbers in Israel he could not be enticed, Jaysus oh Jaysus, it’s funny you never rode, Cause it’s you I do be shoutin’ for each time I shoot me load.”

17. Jesus Christ, in Jerry Springer The Opera, 2003: “Actually, I’m a bit gay.” In 2005, the Christian Institute tried to bring a prosecution against the BBC for screening Jerry Springer the Opera, but the UK courts refused to issue a summons.

18. Tim Minchin, Ten-foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins, 2005: “So you’re gonna live in paradise, With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins, So you’re gonna sacrifice your life, For a shot at the greener grass, And when the Lord comes down with his shiny rod of judgment, He’s gonna kick my heathen ass.”

19. Richard Dawkins in The God Delusion, 2006: “The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.” In 2007 Turkish publisher Erol Karaaslan was charged with the crime of insulting believers for publishing a Turkish translation of The God Delusion. He was acquitted in 2008, but another charge was brought in 2009. Karaaslan told the court that “it is a right to criticise religions and beliefs as part of the freedom of thought and expression.”

20. Pope Benedict XVI quoting a 14th century Byzantine emperor, 2006: “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.” This statement has already led to both outrage and condemnation of the outrage. The Organisation of the Islamic Conference, the world’s largest Muslim body, said it was a “character assassination of the prophet Muhammad”. The Malaysian Prime Minister said that “the Pope must not take lightly the spread of outrage that has been created.” Pakistan’s foreign Ministry spokesperson said that “anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence”. The European Commission said that “reactions which are disproportionate and which are tantamount to rejecting freedom of speech are unacceptable.”

21. Christopher Hitchens in God is not Great, 2007: “There is some question as to whether Islam is a separate religion at all… Islam when examined is not much more than a rather obvious and ill-arranged set of plagiarisms, helping itself from earlier books and traditions as occasion appeared to require… It makes immense claims for itself, invokes prostrate submission or ‘surrender’ as a maxim to its adherents, and demands deference and respect from nonbelievers into the bargain. There is nothing—absolutely nothing—in its teachings that can even begin to justify such arrogance and presumption.”

22. PZ Myers, on his desecration of a Roman Catholic communion host, 2008: “You would not believe how many people are writing to me, insisting that these horrible little crackers (they look like flattened bits of styrofoam) are literally pieces of their god, and that this omnipotent being who created the universe can actually be seriously harmed by some third-rate liberal intellectual at a third-rate university… However, inspired by an old woodcut of Jews stabbing the host, I thought of a simple, quick thing to do: I pierced it with a rusty nail (I hope Jesus’s tetanus shots are up to date). And then I simply threw it in the trash, followed by the classic, decorative items of trash cans everywhere, old coffeegrounds and a banana peel.”

23. Ian O’Doherty, 2009: “(If defamation of religion was illegal) it would be a crime for me to say that the notion of transubstantiation is so ridiculous that even a small child should be able to see the insanity and utter physical impossibility of a piece of bread and some wine somehow taking on corporeal form. It would be a crime for me to say that Islam is a backward desert superstition that has no place in modern, enlightened Europe and it would be a crime to point out that Jewish settlers in Israel who believe they have a God given right to take the land are, frankly, mad. All the above assertions will, no doubt, offend someone or other.”

24. Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, 2009: “Whether a person is atheist or any other, there is in fact in my view something not totally human if they leave out the transcendent… we call it God… I think that if you leave that out you are not fully human.” Because atheism is not a religion, the Irish blasphemy law does not protect atheists from abusive and insulting statements about their fundamental beliefs. While atheists are not seeking such protection, we include the statement here to point out that it is discriminatory that this law does not hold all citizens equal.

25. Dermot Ahern, Irish Minister for Justice, introducing his blasphemy law at an Oireachtas Justice Committee meeting, 2009, and referring to comments made about him personally: “They are blasphemous.” Deputy Pat Rabbitte replied: “Given the Minister’s self-image, it could very well be that we are blaspheming,” and Minister Ahern replied: “Deputy Rabbitte says that I am close to the baby Jesus, I am so pure.” So here we have an Irish Justice Minister joking about himself being blasphemed, at a parliamentary Justice Committee discussing his own blasphemy law, that could make his own jokes illegal.

Finally, as a bonus, Micheal Martin, Irish Minister for Foreign Affairs, opposing attempts by Islamic States to make defamation of religion a crime at UN level, 2009: “We believe that the concept of defamation of religion is not consistent with the promotion and protection of human rights. It can be used to justify arbitrary limitations on, or the denial of, freedom of expression. Indeed, Ireland considers that freedom of expression is a key and inherent element in the manifestation of freedom of thought and conscience and as such is complementary to freedom of religion or belief.” Just months after Minister Martin made this comment, his colleague Dermot Ahern introduced Ireland’s new blasphemy law.

Also heres a link to the atheist website…   http://www.atheist.ie/

 

How In The Name Of All Things Holy Did That Become A Classic?! December 23, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — darahcn @ 11:06 pm

As part of my education in the subject of English, it’s essential that I study a Shakespeare play. Naturally, Romeo and Juliet was chosen.

I’ve never read a worse book or play in my entire life. I’ve never wanted to just put a book down and walk away so much in my life. I’ve never hated a book so much in my life. And how it became a classic/ greatest love story ever written is beyond me

Everyone knows the plot line but for those of us who have not been subjected to the boredom and sheer stupidity of this book, this is what happens..

Boy and girl meet at a party. Their families are fighting. Despite this they fall in love. Next day, they get married. Girl’s cousin gets killed by her new husband. Husband gets banished. Girl is asked to marry another  guy, in two days. Girls threatens suicide to a priest. Priest gives girl “potion” that will make it look like she’s dead but she’s really asleep so she can get out of marrying a rich guy. Everyone thinks girl is dead. Boy comes back from where ever he was and thinks girl is actually dead so he kills himself. Just as he does so, girl wakes up, sees boy is dead and kills herself again.. Sorta. everyone’s who’s still alive at this stage is very sad and the feuding families become super besties.

Now might be a good time to mention that all this happens within a week.

Oh and on top of that, the girl is about, 13 and the guys like 17 or something. There’s a word for that.. Pedophilia! Two year rule ladies and gents.

I know it seems lovely and romantic that they met at a party, locked eyes from across the room and from that instant knew it was love, but come on! If someone came up to me, at a party, told me that my lips were like a pilgrim and made an analogy to a kiss being a sin, most likely I’d walk away and everyone else in their right mind would too. On top of that, if they were standing underneath me window listening to me talking to myself about names just being names and not a person and stuff like that, and then jumping out at me, I’d call the police and get a restraining order against them. Even if they were drunk, stalking  is still not acceptabl.

Basically, I ahte this book,the idea behind it, question how it became a classic, and why i’ve to read and analyse bits of it. Sigh.

On a brighter note, myself and Sophie got through as a wild card in the Aoife Begley competition :)

Happy Christmas, dont get to drunk ;)

 

 
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